If you can’t tell by how late on a Tuesday this post went up, I was struggling with what to write today. And if you read last week’s post, you know that our life (my and my wife’s) is in transition. We recently moved, I am looking for a new job, and we are overall getting used to life in a new place. Fun times.
And I opened up laptop today to write and I could think of anything. What should I write about today? I don’t want to write about grief. This blog has only been live for a couple of months, and already I have alluded to sorting through grief at least three times. And I have a work in progress where the topic is, once again, grief (albeit in a more abstract sense, I hope). Tis the season, I suppose.
But this week, I just didn’t want to say anymore about it.
If I could just sit here in silence, and ask you to do so with me, I would. But that’s awkward and uncomfortable in a blog. No one wants to read a sentence asking for silence then stare a blank white page. That would be bizarre. I’ll go out on a limb here and guess that my blog and I do not have the chips saved up for that kind of stunt.
I don’t want to say anymore about it because there comes a point where it almost becomes white noise. It resides in the background like a fan left on while you sleep, or the sound of a cicada on a summer’s eve. You know it’s there. Sometimes you embrace and go through the cleansing of weeping and sobbing, and other times you just let it be. You just let it be and find something else to do, right?
It’s not good, it’s not bad. It is just there. And you let it be.
And lately, I let it be and play PokemonGo. No joke. I’ve had it since it launched, and it’s glitchy and it crashes, and now I live in an area with two PokeStops and hundreds of Pidgeys. But it’s something to do. If you’ve been a shameless fan of the Pokemon franchise since the fifth grade like I have, there’s more than a touch of nostalgia with it.
Nostalgia can be a cool thing. It can bring you comfort, or merely bring a soft smile to your face. However, you can also get addicted to nostalgia. You can cling to it for the comfort at the expense of those around you. It can mire you down with a compulsive longing for “way back when.” And that’s bad news.
So I guess I wrote more about grief. And PokemonGo.
To all those who are grieving different stuff in their lives, I’m sitting in silence with you when it’s too much. And when I pray for my wife and I, I’ll pray for all of us.
Then I’ll head back to that plaza nearby and see if that Dratini shows up again. Gotta catch ’em all.
The sun is nice, too, and my dog enjoys the walk.